If You Die Tomorrow

If you die tomorrow,
then I am screwed
big time.

I will need to lead
in your final prayer
stand in front of those old Tok Imams
and recite strange verses
which I can never comprehend
which you have never understood.

If you die tomorrow
I will need to buy that archaic Book
start learning what to say
how to say
when to say
so much to say
for two minutes worth of say
and all that falling to deaf ears.

If you die tomorrow
I will need to start saving
because it is not cheap to die,
I need to get the cleaner, the make-up artist,
The wardrobe guy, caterer, the real estate agent, the house,
we need to buy the house,
six feet deep
with six other occupants
it’s government subsidized
so it’s cheaper at least
it’s cash term only
so the thousands in your CPF can still accumulate interest.

If you die tomorrow
your past burden will be
your farewell present to me
with loose ends
which I will have to tie, else
they will come after me
with empty threats
and bloodied fists,
their expletive-coated tongues
and phoenix-coloured hairs
demanding my invaluable head
they will stand alongside rigid men with rigid clipboards
handing out summons to our names
my name now crosses your name
Because I am you, Bak
I am my father’s son.

If you are going to die,
please,
let it be
not tomorrow.

Published by alhafizsanusi

A small man, living his big childhood dream, not afraid to follow his dreams and give his heart and soul for the love of his art and craft.

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